| How'd you get the salt so angry? |
6 days, 13 hours ago |
| It's like a goose disguised as the Doppler effect. |
2 weeks, 5 days ago |
| You are the human equivalent of a Pontiac Aztek. |
2 months, 1 week ago |
| You are the human equivalent of a Pontiac Aztec. |
2 months, 1 week ago |
| It has feng shui for depressed dudes. |
4 months ago |
| To anybody I offended this year: work on yourself so I don't gotta do it again in 2025. |
4 months, 1 week ago |
| What do you have against rectangles? |
5 months, 2 weeks ago |
| Choo choo? Now it's more like Chee Chow, the past tense of choo choo. |
8 months, 3 weeks ago |
| The Little Flap That Could |
10 months, 3 weeks ago |
| "You don’t find the zebra, the zebra finds you." |
11 months, 2 weeks ago |
| There is no problem so bad that you can't make it worse. |
1 year, 2 months ago |
| "The U.S. doesn't have to swear allegiance to the crown because we're dope, and we do dope things." |
1 year, 3 months ago |
| I bought a material called polycarbonate, which is similar to monogamycarbonate, but has many more layers. |
1 year, 11 months ago |
| Most successful people are just a walking anxiety disorder harnessed for productivity. |
1 year, 11 months ago |