| When ideas fail, words come in very handy. - Goethe |
1 week, 2 days ago |
| What do you call a Christmas wreath made of $100 bills? ---------------- Aretha Franklins |
1 week, 4 days ago |
| I am a person who wants to do lots of things, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. |
2 weeks, 4 days ago |
| If you're waiting for me to act normal, I hope you packed a picnic basket. |
3 weeks, 2 days ago |
| I have never had a bad day when I didn't choose to. |
3 weeks, 5 days ago |
| A man was injured while playing peek-a-boo. --- He's currently in the ICU. |
4 weeks, 1 day ago |
| Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you didn't overthink everything? I think about it all the time. |
1 month ago |
| There's nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul. Even if it's cold, over ice, with a celery stalk. And Vodka. |
1 month, 1 week ago |
| I tried calling the Tinnitus help line. No answer. Just kept ringing. |
1 month, 3 weeks ago |
| That which was hard to endure is sweet to remember. |
2 months ago |
| A wise man hears one word and understands two. |
2 months, 2 weeks ago |
| Courage is the price that Life exacts for granting peace. - Amelia Earhart (1897 - 1937) |
2 months, 2 weeks ago |
| Know women, know pain, no women, no pain. |
2 months, 3 weeks ago |
| Do you remember --- The twenty-first night of September? |
2 months, 3 weeks ago |
| Stop worrying about what other people think. Have you met other people? They're AWFUL! |
3 months ago |
| A great many people mistake opinions for thoughts. |
3 months, 3 weeks ago |
| Sarah Palin No Longer Dumbest Person to Set Foot in Alaska. |
3 months, 3 weeks ago |
| You will never amount to much. -- Munich Schoolmaster, to Albert Einstein, age 10 |
4 months, 4 weeks ago |
| If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. |
5 months, 1 week ago |
| One must not lose desires. They are mighty stimulants to creativeness, to love, and to long life. - Alexander A. Bogomoletz |
6 months, 2 weeks ago |
| One kind word can warm three winter months -- Japanese proverb |
6 months, 3 weeks ago |
| What I do today is important because I am paying a day of my life for it. |
6 months, 3 weeks ago |
| A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it. |
7 months ago |
| Old age is real. I was in bed for 20 mins when I heard the pizza guy cough. Then I remembered I came in my room for my wallet. |
7 months, 1 week ago |
| The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible. - Arthur C. Clarke |
7 months, 2 weeks ago |
| It is better to be silent and appear ignorant than to speak and confirm it. |
8 months, 1 week ago |
| We make a living by what we get. We make a LIFE by what we GIVE. |
8 months, 2 weeks ago |
| Some people can't distinguish between etymology and entomology. It bugs me in ways I can't put into words. |
9 months ago |
| No matter how nice you are, German children will always be Kinder. |
9 months, 1 week ago |
| - Word of the day: Recrudescence (n.) The return of something terrible after a time of reprieve. |
10 months, 1 week ago |
| A special message to Canada, Greenland, Panama, and now the Gulf of Mexico. Apologies. He's an imbecile. --- USA |
11 months ago |
| A special message to Canada, Greenland, & Panama. Apologies. He's an imbecile. --- USA |
11 months, 1 week ago |
| The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers - Sydney J. Harris |
11 months, 3 weeks ago |
| You can tell God has a sense of humor because she put the male G-spot in his rectum. |
1 year ago |
| The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense. - Tom Clancy |
1 year, 3 months ago |
| Man who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self. |
1 year, 4 months ago |
| Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane. - Philip K. Dick (1928-1982) |
1 year, 4 months ago |
| If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain. 18 +room |
1 year, 5 months ago |
| If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain. |
1 year, 5 months ago |
| HAPPY CANADA DAY !!! |
1 year, 5 months ago |
| The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work. - Harry Golden |
1 year, 5 months ago |
| To our sweethearts and wives. May they never meet. -- 19th century toast |
1 year, 6 months ago |
| Some people cause happiness wherever they go, others, whenever they go. |
1 year, 8 months ago |
| He who laughs last thinks slowest. |
1 year, 9 months ago |
| Someone just accused me of plagiarism. Their words, not mine. |
1 year, 9 months ago |
| There was never a good war or a bad peace. |
1 year, 10 months ago |
| If entropy is increasing, where is it coming from? |
2 years ago |
| For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press 3 - Alice Kahn |
2 years, 1 month ago |
| If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people? |
2 years, 2 months ago |
| Captain America's suit does not have 50 stars. It was 1 star, so he's actually Captain Texas. |
2 years, 3 months ago |
| I intend to live forever - so far, so good. |
2 years, 4 months ago |
| -An unemployed jester is nobody's fool. |
2 years, 4 months ago |
| -Have you heard about the defunct rock band 999 Megabytes? ---------- They couldn't get a gig. |
2 years, 4 months ago |
| A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. |
2 years, 5 months ago |
| The educator must above all understand how to wait - to reckon all effects in the light of the future, not of the present. -- Ellen Kay |
2 years, 6 months ago |
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2 years, 6 months ago |