IRC Driven

[08:28:51] Frogorg *sigh*

[08:28:53] Frogorg hi

[08:31:47] Frogorg *sigh*

[08:32:51] Frogorg I've called the clinic

[08:32:55] Frogorg they'll call me back

[08:32:57] Frogorg or not

[08:33:02] Frogorg probably yes

[08:34:22] Frogorg hopefully "yes I remember you it's good you've called I'm seeing patients in <location>, call there, tell them the password 'mantis shrimp' and they'll schedule you for this Wednesday, 11:30 pm"

[08:35:10] Frogorg .log

[08:35:17] Frogorg *deep sigh*

[08:36:59] Frogorg Ahsoka, dear, I have you on ignore. We've been over this numerous times, you probably know why (or should have figured out why by this point), it's just better for at least me. I hold no grudge, but I think that's better course of action than getting mad at you for you being you

[08:50:53] Frogorg what's the matter?

[08:52:05] Frogorg I don't have capacity to handle this at this moment, I will get back to you (eventually), please respect my choice at this point

[08:56:55] Frogorg n1: thanks, it's wonderful, my health's awesome and I was told by a second medical professional "hey how about ER?"

[08:57:01] Frogorg how about you?

[08:59:24] Frogorg emergency room

[09:01:05] Frogorg that's great to hear!

[09:01:15] Frogorg ride safe!

[09:01:20] Frogorg nice

[09:01:59] Frogorg that would be the best outcome

[09:32:39] Frogorg h4: so, the doctor called back

[09:32:55] Frogorg which reminds me of a lame joke I've recently heard about healthcare in Poland

[09:33:13] Frogorg "Honey, I want to play doctor with you" "Sure, I can schedule you an appointment in 6 months"

[09:33:25] Frogorg esjay: unfortunately no

[09:33:48] Frogorg why would I?

[09:39:24] Frogorg congratulations h4

[09:40:01] Frogorg I tried to exercise yesterday

[09:40:05] Frogorg I did whole 6 push ups lol

[10:04:40] Frogorg ComputerTech: I have black text on navy background

[10:04:44] Frogorg is this intended?

[10:05:50] Frogorg h4: stealth mode

[10:05:52] Frogorg or

[11:19:10] Frogorg fun fact: Viagra was originally a hypertension medication

[11:19:36] Frogorg it was just noted that it has an interesting side effect

[11:20:06] Frogorg though Wikipedia says it was angina, not hypertension

[11:29:26] Frogorg oh pharmacists know how to keep their secrets

[11:29:31] Frogorg more less

[11:29:59] Frogorg I was buying antidepressants in a small town and "and a non-translucent bag" would always be met with understanding nod

[11:36:03] Frogorg yeah, exactly

[11:36:12] Frogorg pharmacists have seen a lot

[11:36:36] Frogorg at least in Poland the worst you'll get is *deep sigh* when you go 4th time this week to get otc codeine

[11:37:06] Frogorg esjay: lmao "yeah my friend asked me to pick up his limp dick medication"

[11:37:18] Frogorg reminds me of condom copypasta, shame it's in Polish

[11:38:05] Frogorg seriously?

[11:38:12] Frogorg you can get it OTC for $10 here

[11:38:46] Frogorg <3

[11:38:50] Frogorg you're a good guy

[11:39:24] Frogorg fun fact #2: Poland is the only country in the EU where emergency contraception is Rx only and Viagra is OTC

[11:42:27] Frogorg I hate national healthcare in my country but at least I have 100% coverage on Vraylar

[11:43:21] Frogorg they're like "we'll pay you not to go bananas"

[11:44:12] Frogorg goated?

[11:44:31] Frogorg oh, ok

[11:44:38] Frogorg yeah Vraylar is awesome

[11:45:08] Frogorg they're not even paying me to advertise Vraylar

[11:45:10] Frogorg but I do

[11:45:54] Frogorg oh

[11:46:00] Frogorg that's why I supplement the D just in case

[11:48:07] Frogorg Vraylar saved my life, I was suffering from schizophrenia with predominant negative symptoms and I told the doctor "yeah Risperdal's not working, nothing's working, let's just give up" and he was like "I have one more idea, Vraylar got officially funded and approved now by national healthcare, you haven't tried that, have you?"

[11:49:17] Frogorg I agree

[11:49:57] Frogorg I've heard it even dubbed "third generation antipsychotic" and I sort of agree, if you had positive symptoms that would be more less manageable, but negative symptoms? I don't think there could be much done

[11:50:34] Frogorg esjay: Poland, 300 PLN #28, but in "schizophrenia with predominant and lasting negative symptoms without comorbid clinical depression" it's a whole round 0

[11:51:17] Frogorg it requires a psychiatrist to prove though that you have schizophrenia, that you have negative symptoms, that they're predominant and to rule out clinical depression

[11:52:04] Frogorg lol I might ask my doctor if he prescribes me 374 boxes of that

[11:52:23] Frogorg they would be round 0 USD anyway

[11:52:29] Frogorg but I think NFZ wouldn't be happy

[11:52:55] Frogorg have a nice day

[12:45:18] Frogorg hmmm

[12:45:21] Frogorg I need something to do

[12:45:38] Frogorg I've considered that, yes

[12:46:10] Frogorg but I can't masturbate 24/7 for the next week

[12:47:20] Frogorg hmm

[12:50:25] Frogorg AlterEgo_: that's the problem, I have attention span of 5 minutes

[12:50:57] Frogorg I just decided "yeah let's watch this popular scientific youtuber discuss steroids"

[12:51:12] Frogorg I'm 3 minutes in and I somehow ended up at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oavMtUWDBTM

[12:51:40] Frogorg hmm, I could go a run through Kryminalnie again

[12:51:47] Frogorg as for ADHD

[12:51:52] Frogorg don't even get me started on that

[12:52:22] Frogorg yeah no I don't attribute you any bad will

[12:52:28] Frogorg you're trying I'm just struggling to find something

[12:52:34] Frogorg your points are valid

[12:53:45] Frogorg as for ADHD - I'm upset about this because I went to my doctor and said "yeah I want to test for that, among others" and she said "naaaaaaaaaaaah but I'll refer you for tests"

[12:54:09] Frogorg I went for the tests, and the test administerer said "IMO yes, not big time, but clinically significant"

[12:54:17] Frogorg "for final doctor's decision"

[12:54:21] Frogorg and then the drama ensured

[12:55:25] Frogorg I sort of do at this point, on Sunday my doctor friend said "hey how about you go to ER" (not for ADHD though)

[12:55:47] Frogorg I'm not doing great lately in mental health department

[12:55:53] Frogorg thus I'm trying to find something to do

[12:56:00] Frogorg but I can't stay at doing anything

[12:56:28] Frogorg and the drama re: ADHD did not help it

[12:58:40] Frogorg at this point I just don't know, and I don't care about the labels or what in particular happened, they can say "it's bed wetting" and I'll be like "ok fine how do we fix this"

[12:59:34] Frogorg certainly schizophrenia, medications, chronic stress, "clinically significant ADHD traits" as the administerer put it and absolute wreck I did to my neurotransmitters over the past month did not help

[13:01:23] Frogorg that's the problem, I tried to change jobs so I feel happier and find something that suits me better

[13:01:37] Frogorg I ran into a brick wall of "I can't focus on studying to change jobs"

[13:01:48] Frogorg from there, I spiraled

[13:03:16] Frogorg I don't really like being a programmer right now, and I don't know if the problem is the programming part or "right now" part

[13:03:47] Frogorg after considering my options, I pretty much have to be a programmer at this point, so I might as well be a better one and try hard to find something interesting in that broad field

[13:03:53] Frogorg wildting2: joke's on you, this shit doesn't work anyway

[13:04:50] Frogorg HelderHeid: I don't like being touched, but the "autism blankie" was helpful

[13:05:04] Frogorg however, the autism blankie at this point hasn't been washed in 2 years

[13:05:21] Frogorg wildting2: a blanket that weighs ~8 kg

[13:06:01] Frogorg AlterEgo_: C++, sometimes C, Python, I've tried also a little bit of Rust

[13:06:19] Frogorg AlterEgo_: oh luckily I'm not autistic, I just like being squished with a heavy blanket

[13:07:04] Frogorg I could, but the budget is tight on the account of me constantly clocking out early and being on sick leave

[13:07:45] Frogorg my washing machine goes up to 7 kg

[13:08:06] Frogorg #define Frogorg NULL

[13:10:29] Frogorg I live in a concrete jungle :(

[13:11:18] Frogorg I'll just go to a gym and put a stack of gym plates on me

[13:11:34] Frogorg "How much more sets do you have?" "8 hours I guess?"

[13:13:00] Frogorg lol

[13:14:23] Frogorg oh my

[13:14:25] Frogorg OH MY

[13:45:36] Frogorg any day can be over at any point if you do too much drugs and sin\

[13:47:03] Frogorg maybe I'll get something done after this next Monster

[13:47:20] Frogorg nice Mikoolo

[13:50:51] Frogorg h4: how about Tagesschau?

[13:51:04] Frogorg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hm-SNoP5IxA

[13:52:09] Frogorg h4: your neck is already big because you're huge

[13:53:18] Frogorg I have six pack in me

[13:53:29] Frogorg six pack of Monster AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[13:53:46] Frogorg h4: it is, that's why I'm going to stay indoors because I'm drugged and there's nowhere to go except gym

[13:53:50] Frogorg hi foxy

[13:54:17] Frogorg h4: a nearby what? I literally live in a concrete jungle

[13:54:36] Frogorg I realized yesterday at night I actually have trees within 100 m radius from my home

[13:54:39] Frogorg two of them!

[13:54:52] Frogorg not really

[13:55:06] Frogorg they're behind a fence

[13:55:11] Frogorg which I don't have access to

[13:55:20] Frogorg Krakow urban planning is a nightmare

[13:55:46] Frogorg they're trying to patchwork this by actually surprisingly good public transit

[13:56:01] Frogorg but urban plan damages last decades

[13:56:46] Frogorg h4: this one tickled my ego a bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoWoZSfodNc

[13:58:36] Frogorg I'm sort of proud of our Fast Tram (tm)

[13:58:46] Frogorg it could be faster but

[13:58:54] Frogorg pankakes: p diddy shit?

[14:00:29] Frogorg h4: yeah my American friend was bedazzled by FastTram tunnel

[14:01:56] Frogorg h4: why not coexist?

[14:02:22] Frogorg because I take FastTram to work phish can have more room on the road

[14:03:59] Frogorg :(

[14:04:43] Frogorg h4: oh they've done good job cherrypicking the good parts

[14:06:50] Frogorg lol

[14:06:54] Frogorg beat this

[14:07:11] Frogorg on the way to my hometown there was a segment of tracks where the train would go at whooping 20 km/h

[14:07:48] Frogorg yeah it's a shame that Poland doesn't have high speed rail

[14:08:07] Frogorg especially that we've got perfect conditions for that

[14:09:15] Frogorg you could get 7 major towns connected with HSR and this way have at most 3 hour ride from every major city to major city

[14:18:19] Frogorg .log

[14:20:29] Frogorg DickCheney: seen it, what a beautiful disaster

[15:14:50] Frogorg what can you do without brain

[15:25:39] Frogorg do you think showering is a prerequisite to go out and buy cake?

[15:26:21] Frogorg I don't know

[15:26:24] Frogorg delicious hopefully

[15:26:38] Frogorg I was thinking maybe cheesecake with chocolate

[15:27:09] Frogorg there's non-zero chance that instead of getting cake I'll get more drugs

[15:27:20] Frogorg how lazy would it be to have cake delivered to me like a pizza?

[15:27:35] Frogorg drugs are bad

[15:28:00] Frogorg insomnia: that's good because I'm a degenerate

[15:31:54] Frogorg Mikoolo: you're gonna run out of hats

[15:31:56] Frogorg ok

[15:31:59] Frogorg unshowered cake it is!

[15:32:03] Frogorg brb

[15:46:37] Frogorg I've got a cheesecake and nobody asked me for a proof of shower!

[15:48:17] Frogorg hi

[15:48:26] Frogorg is it my fault?

[16:02:01] Frogorg Hmm

[16:24:06] Frogorg what a beautiful frog Mikoolo thank you

[17:12:15] Frogorg Germany

[17:12:18] Frogorg USA

[17:12:37] Frogorg u s a

[17:12:40] Frogorg lol

[17:15:30] Frogorg how many questions did you launch?

[17:15:47] Frogorg :O

[17:16:03] Frogorg I don't think I can stop it

[17:16:09] Frogorg even if I wanted to

[17:16:51] Frogorg try to stop it?

[17:17:01] Frogorg .trivia stop

[17:17:07] Frogorg $trivia stop

[17:17:12] Frogorg how did you do that, hold on

[17:17:57] Frogorg .trivia help

[17:18:14] Frogorg cannot be kicked

[17:18:16] Frogorg cannot be stopped

[17:18:53] Frogorg .strivia

[17:18:55] Frogorg yay

[17:19:10] Frogorg .trivia 1000

[17:19:13] Frogorg .strivia

[17:19:17] Frogorg how did that work

[17:19:19] Frogorg there was a space

[17:22:16] Frogorg I'm on sick leave

[17:22:23] Frogorg and I'm watching new media battle the old media

[17:22:40] Frogorg :(

[17:23:52] Frogorg I guess

[17:24:06] Frogorg I'm on sick leave on less than 48 hours and I feel bored

[17:24:09] Frogorg I have no life

[17:32:56] Frogorg nice

[17:34:17] Frogorg lol that's less than you would make on IRC in the same time

[17:40:10] Frogorg no

[17:40:12] Frogorg :(

[17:40:21] Frogorg I have zero drive except sex drive

[17:41:10] Frogorg I thought I have friends

[17:41:18] Frogorg at this point, I'm not sure

[17:42:09] Frogorg h4: the working hypothesis is that people like me, but it's hard to live with me

[17:42:11] Frogorg y'know

[17:42:37] Frogorg my friend's hypothesis on latest events

[17:42:43] Frogorg let's take the recent situation

[17:44:08] Frogorg average Joe's average answer to "how are you?" usually isn't "actually, if you really want to know, extremely crappy, I'm going through medication withdrawal, I'm completely scatterbrained and I can't focus on anything longer than 10 minutes, but I'll be fine, don't worry, how are you? btw will you visit me in hospital if things don't work out the way they should?"

[17:44:29] Frogorg people want to help. they simply can't.

[17:44:46] Frogorg it's like telling someone with cancer to smile more

[17:45:10] Frogorg h4: I try not to drag down people, but eh

[17:45:32] Frogorg I'm sort of not good at communicating my feelings too

[17:45:38] Frogorg and my needs

[17:46:23] Frogorg if anyone asked "ok how can I help?" I would be like "just come over, I won't talk shit about this, just let's play some video games, watch silly things on youtube, Iunno, anything"

[17:46:58] Frogorg "now we both know, there's not much you can do than wait and look for distractors, so I'd appreciate if you help me"

[17:47:03] Frogorg somehow, saying this is extremely hard

[17:47:38] Frogorg because frankly speaking, nobody cares enough

[17:47:43] Frogorg I let people know for pragmatic reasons

[17:48:38] Frogorg h4: it's not about me dragging them down at this point, at least that's the hypothesis

[17:48:46] Frogorg I apparently, somehow, don't really do that

[17:48:58] Frogorg it's not their issue

[17:49:09] Frogorg it's about my issues being above pretty much everyone's paygrade

[17:49:19] Frogorg people don't know what to do

[17:49:23] Frogorg so they do nothing

[17:49:51] Frogorg I don't want them to listen, that's the point. I tell them for simply pragmatic reasons, for example to explain why I'm going to act weird for the next few weeks

[17:50:51] Frogorg Fensta: that's something I can't really do, when there's a problem I try to fix it and I sometimes use people to brainstorm the ideas but I realize not many people are even able to start the conversation

[17:51:08] Frogorg and I really don't even have problems with that

[17:51:24] Frogorg I have had a drama recently though

[17:52:00] Frogorg it never is

[17:52:12] Frogorg one thing could solve all this

[17:52:18] Frogorg but unfortunately, that's not an option

[17:55:47] Frogorg we've considered these with my doctor friend

[17:57:50] Frogorg and the ekhm, recent events don't bring me hope in that regard

[18:04:23] Frogorg found h4 https://files.catbox.moe/xwix92.webp

[18:05:54] Frogorg wait wha-

[18:08:34] Frogorg https://files.catbox.moe/8i9wly.jpg