IRC Driven

[01:26:55] fifel I’m so sorry for aroundhere. Have you tried to introduce aroundhere to wild ferments or trappists?

[04:57:39] fifel autistic people are people. some are cunts, some are shitcunts

[04:58:07] fifel I covered the nice ones with “cunts”

[04:58:15] fifel en_AU ftw

[04:58:36] fifel figuratively but you need enthusiastic informed consent

[04:59:25] fifel and if you do binge that minge

[04:59:38] fifel while ensuring its still the previously mentioned consent.

[05:07:00] fifel esjay: I do greatly enjoy it.

[05:08:07] fifel I’ve never used a hammer in sex.

[05:12:03] fifel ooh am I the tree?

[05:22:05] fifel Its okay to be thirsty.

[05:25:25] fifel I know what armpit thirst is in a woman.

[05:26:14] fifel when she wants to 69 and refuses to be on top ;n;

[05:26:49] fifel ComputerTech: Any woman you’re having mutual oral with. It feels kind of wrong to not see a woman’s face who demands to be choked.

[05:27:06] fifel see now you’re being held aloft solely by your cocktip

[05:34:09] fifel No, its about average. 1.5% hit rate for a woman’s desire.

[05:34:17] fifel Hello Frogorg!

[05:39:36] fifel n o I c e

[05:40:59] fifel I don’t think I’m going to see anyone for sometime.

[05:50:56] fifel Bring back when I felt desire.

[05:51:37] fifel I didn’t feel desire in 1994, I was puppy dogging.

[05:53:42] fifel Syndus: How many I help you Syndus?

[06:05:11] fifel Good night esjay. Dream of armpits.

[06:07:57] fifel I miss having a beautiful short blonde woman curled up in my armpit.

[06:09:07] fifel I don’t have enough time to give a cat.

[06:09:31] fifel I can fuck myself. But I don’t have time to give a cat what it emotionally needs.

[06:10:00] fifel No. Emotionally, the bulk time to resentfully ignore me.

[06:10:20] fifel Cats need to ignore you emotionally for up to 20 hours a day

[06:10:34] fifel can’t ignore you if you’re not present.

[06:12:01] fifel A major part of couples is learning and negotiating boundaries, such as proximity without interaction.

[06:13:10] fifel If someone desperately needs to interact with you when you’re proximate, have proper ways of negotiating interaction (such as cooking, fucking, chat time debrief), but can’t handle being non-interactive its a bad sign.

[06:13:19] fifel I had to watch my ex cook. She was upset that I could wash-up by myself.

[06:13:42] fifel She didn’t want to sit around watching me wash-up, she wanted to read her computer. But she was upset that I didn’t need her interacting with me to wash-up.

[06:16:09] fifel A lot of Australia doesn’t have dishwashing machines because of the era of housing stock renewal and kitchen structure, particularly rentals.

[06:16:28] fifel irish666: Washing up is a manly act, because it was gendered in my household.

[06:18:05] fifel Peorth: I’m sorry that how I am upsets you.

[11:23:06] fifel Frogorg: I’m still broken :(

[11:23:42] fifel I still miss her badly and I’m emotionally and sexually stalled

[11:24:58] fifel I know. But it helps me to tell someone good how I am, and I am saying stalled not broken

[11:28:24] fifel Well I was ghosted after years, with a year of her not talking about real things happening for her despite me pleading to talk while I was hospitalised 6 times in a year. I put myself on hold and read Cormac McCarthy last year. She unghosted me. Talked very lovingly on the phone. Then ghosted me by letter again. That was sixish months ago. I worry that she’s broken but can’t do anything to help her. And moving on means putting my

[11:28:24] fifel self in a position to trust women, when the most recent woman couldn’t talk properly and makes me doubt deeply communication.

[11:30:48] fifel No. I want her to flourish for and in herself, and that means me being absent because that’s what she’s expressed. So I need to take my hurt with me as a gift.

[11:31:30] fifel But I will

[11:32:27] fifel I will!

[11:33:14] fifel I was kind of expecting the need to fuck to kick in to drive me back out

[11:33:47] fifel It hasn’t kicked in yet.

[11:35:38] fifel Something driving me out will help! As will looking after myself.

[11:36:29] fifel I had some kind of neurological incident this week which also jolted me poorly.

[11:37:23] fifel Really minor: knowably disordered reasoning. Correct outcomes, but disordered ways of getting there. Like dream logic

[11:38:48] fifel Nah, thankfully. But it felt edgy. Now I know those experiences are neurological not psychological (in action, even if caused by stressors), I can see that they’re incidents relateable to the minor neurological events I’ve previously observed.

[11:40:17] fifel Which helps me feel I’m not having a panic attack due to disordered psychology. Even if stressors or caffeine might be psychological contributors.

[11:42:44] fifel I hope it explains why I’m in a less positive space about myself, even though I support lovely people.

[11:44:44] fifel I am. And the joys I experienced were worth the risk of the pain and heartbreak. And I’m glad I only wish good things for her knowing I’ll never be contacted or answered as me.

[11:46:20] fifel Yeah, I’m sure I was also a cunt in the relationship, but it isn’t worth going through because I would just terrorise myself with negative qualities rather than be able to work them.

[11:47:06] fifel I specifically asked her to call me a cunt at one point to try to get it out.

[11:48:51] fifel I had been getting desperate to try to get any real communication going. I didn’t care about being hospitalised, but just movement in talking starting.

[11:51:59] fifel It would have helped a lot if she hadn’t said I was the love of her life when she deghosted me for two weeks.

[11:52:50] fifel she used the present continuous tense.

[11:53:29] fifel rather upsetting.

[11:54:11] fifel If I loved someone like that, but believed I was toxic for them, I’d tell them I fucked their best friend and wanted to love them, but was using them.

[11:54:37] fifel No

[11:54:51] fifel but the lie would have helped me break my heart cleaner.

[11:56:04] fifel which again leads me to believe she’s broken and loves me, which is awfully sad.

[11:57:22] fifel Yes, so I just have to walk away.

[11:58:45] fifel especially when someone you care about is signalling hurt and crisis, as she did massively when she unghosted me.

[11:59:52] fifel password123.com

[12:01:51] fifel often.

[12:02:19] fifel Frogorg: I am going to try for the 3rd time to nap

[19:04:01] fifel I dreamt I found just enough of a cutlery set to keep me going, and it was beautiful. But as I tried to wash it, the crone, mother and maiden overboiled rice and beans all over *my* house flooding it with a mess of shit and chaos.

[19:06:20] fifel kot: I couldn’t walk through my kitchen. And we’re talking cooking 200 litres of beans, 400+ litres of rice. Enough for a batallion

[19:07:45] fifel I try self-care, the people around me destroy it with chaos.

[19:08:02] fifel kot: You try fucking all three of them at once.

[19:08:19] fifel Any one of them needs a lot of cock

[19:09:55] fifel kot: Weirdly enough my mother appeared as the crone. my ex appeared as the mother (despite not having the personality for it). And some new woman appeared as the maiden.

[19:10:19] fifel I mean my mother *is* a crone, but it is weird I dream of the woman who is now who was incidentally my mother when I was a child as she is now

[19:10:42] fifel She’s a much better adjusted woman these days. Doesn’t give a fuck.

[19:11:29] fifel kot: At least, I presume, I am an amusing train accident.

[19:14:13] fifel replace their dishwasher with 80 litres of black beans.

[19:14:32] fifel I’m kind of worried about that.

[19:14:46] fifel Can’t I just skip the boring stage.

[19:14:54] fifel fuck

[19:15:37] fifel Being daddy sucks

[19:16:58] fifel What, if I don’t dump her in the first three years when I’m being projected onto and don’t realise it?

[19:18:17] fifel I’ve tried that over and over again and it doesn’t work

[19:19:23] fifel Usually around 7 years into that relationship and often over and over again

[19:20:26] fifel Yeah but I’d want an honest forced pregnancy marriage where we fucked around honestly and also tried to make it work

[19:21:32] fifel The university one tried it twice. Hey good point my weird ratio is higher.

[19:23:03] fifel Her choice was to get pregnant and abort, her demands for bareback were never subsequently honoured. I would have tried for the potential kiddie

[19:29:03] fifel 1978, so 45

[20:03:30] fifel Arab (Lebanese) dad breaks into your room and pets your cat

[20:08:00] fifel https://www.youtube.com/shorts/1FLspnRVa-4?feature=share

[20:18:45] fifel wof: I strongly recommend a union trade over university for job purposes. And finding a university to engage in scholarly work is fucking hard.

[20:19:25] fifel Plumbers seem to do really good due to the highly dispersed and continuousness of water and shit

[20:20:22] fifel I’m sorry I don’t offer adequate university standard side training in history, but my life went to shit, and I appealed to three organised human networks for support (ie: mainly students) in that.

[20:20:44] fifel No dumb living sparkies though.

[20:22:15] fifel wofmobile: If your kiddie is a chick, women plumbers tend to do really well with the sister / niece effect when they’re apprentices; then when they go one-woman-one-truck-one-apprentice they can lever gender in marketting.

[20:22:24] fifel wof ffs autosubstituter

[20:22:35] fifel Frogorg: Hello, this is 999.

[20:23:22] fifel Frogorg: Most intimate murderers want to confess.

[20:24:03] fifel I can see the structure of the central european joke now!

[20:24:44] fifel Jesus, I thought it was a joke, like “I think I’ve strangled my wife to death?” —Well could you make sure?

[20:24:53] fifel Thanks, she wasn’t dead before but now she is.

[20:27:49] fifel Frogorg: I think Arnold Rimmer has the high score for that.

[20:29:47] fifel You didn’t fail.

[20:31:37] fifel MySpace.

[20:44:22] fifel I dunno, an entire pot of coffee and a shit sounds like a better start to doing boring applied analytical philosophy

[20:55:15] fifel wof: Head of food robotics (implementation / process) means she’s probably dynamic enough to cope with a degree. I’m glad your daughter is doing awesome stuff that is sustainable! If she ever gets in real shit, I recommend becoming a union delivery driver. Robotic grandson! Awesome!

[20:55:27] fifel phonekait: That robot’s babymommy ain’t broke, she’s toke.

[20:56:19] fifel wof: I spent maybe 12 weeks in Greenville SC around 1990. Fall-winter.

[21:04:45] fifel nice1

[21:04:58] fifel I ought to see if I’ve got dried beans.

[21:12:35] fifel wof: She’s gonna do that fine if she’s already doing this in university. Still having the conversation about union jobs is a good one, so she knows to marry the intelligent plumber who is emotionally sorted and audited 2.5 years of University and read seriously in a sane commo or libcom or libcap / hobby science group.

[21:12:58] fifel “You can’t bring your bike in here” oh cute robot “You can’t go upstairs” oh cute robot

[21:13:32] fifel MUM, THE DELIVERY ROBOT IS FUCKING MARLENE IN THE CORRIDORS AGAIN

[21:14:10] fifel &%_ I have brought your pizza &%_ Yes, I am a son of Hitachi &%_

[21:25:31] fifel Don’t worry, free will is an illusion

[21:26:25] fifel Grumblebee: Never a semi-colon?

[21:28:18] fifel irish666: That’s every word in the Australian autocorrect dictionary

[21:28:27] fifel basically forces you to spell correctly.

[21:29:15] fifel Oh no, wait, that was being inducted as a humanities academic and accidentally learning the latin and greek English borrowing unlocks.

[21:29:45] fifel irish666: Seriously, Hegel is unsafe for under 18s

[21:55:19] fifel irish666: HAND OVER THE KETAMINE

[22:00:25] fifel AlterEgo_: I suppose the vocal has the snare /hh function of an amen.

[22:00:46] fifel AlterEgo_: This is ’87 style shit

[22:01:59] fifel LoneWolf367: It is cool, but it is harder by being softer. The low BPM makes the themes and hooks hit harder than they would at even the “slow” speed of 160.

[22:02:46] fifel It also speaks to traditions preceding the trance/techno schizm, so reeks of detroit and industrial.

[22:02:53] fifel despite having a french house main hook

[22:04:24] fifel Kids today know what real shit is, and are actually quite good.

[22:11:58] fifel 60% of the time

[22:20:48] fifel ewww. Potluck.

[22:32:33] fifel AlterEgo_: awww. I’m soaking lentils because of time poverty

[22:51:53] fifel lentils are okay, but I really wanted beans

[22:52:03] fifel What kind of life am I living when there’s no beans in the house?

[22:52:34] fifel a life without minge makes sense: it is a present absence. A live without beans…

[23:16:32] fifel She is a bulk coal carrier shipping Newcastle to China, not your waifu.

[23:30:48] fifel did someone vaguely reference dutch gabber? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebGVzwNDk_g

[23:33:00] fifel ComputerTech: so the 1800 Pain track is Detroit / Euro Industrial ala 1987-1989. Ruffneck is after Detroit hit Germany around 1990, and two years later you get Mescalinium United’s We have arrived. In Holland this turns into a cheesier dance floor filler due to the gabber hoovers, which contemplates becoming Eu Happy Hardcore, or remaining mainline gabber.

[23:33:46] fifel AK-18 is the rule, you’re all drunk and fucking fools.

[23:34:27] fifel six girlfriends

[23:34:36] fifel and you drink fizzy urine

[23:35:50] fifel sandpaper thighs

[23:41:07] fifel In NSW it is Western Europe Misunderstands Jesus Day, so I cannot buy beer.

[23:41:35] fifel Thankfully I have 850 mL of rum

[23:42:00] fifel second2050: It is like Old South Wales, but OSW ][: NE

[23:42:39] fifel second2050: Well this terrorist had dinner last night (incorrectly, should have had it tonight) so is going to die in about 4 hours time.

[23:43:16] fifel I’m drinking because I hate myself but I can’t kill myself for 51 years

[23:43:26] fifel Possibly longer if an ex I made a promise to doesn’t die from butter and garlic OD

[23:45:22] fifel MaidenAmerica: Yeah, I’ve read the main Jesus fanfiction archive, and some of the extended universe.

[23:45:40] fifel irish666: Grief, courier, post made me thin.

[23:46:23] fifel MaidenAmerica: I like non-Pauline Jesus, particularly Gospel of Thomas. But that character doesn’t need to exist to conduct a Pharisee critique of Phariseean lack of love for the Father’s Love.

[23:46:34] fifel theology is fun hobby

[23:46:53] fifel irish666: It helps to have people to cook the garlic for to cook garlic for yourself.

[23:47:45] fifel MaidenAmerica: Let’s start with an assumption that consciousness is instantiated and lingual. If deos/theos exists as a lingual category, regardless of its reflection of external reality, the language system of consciousness will interleave that category into all things, especially if it is a central category.

[23:49:01] fifel MaidenAmerica: You can get the hard edged response like theistic hindu practices, or you can get the soft edged anagnostic buddhisms where “does it matter if all things are or are not god?” It can be a lot of fun, but I judge the people about me by their acts of love to others mostly.

[23:49:34] fifel MaidenAmerica: We can demonstrate language exists in consciousness readily, and then use the existence of a category in language, and that consciousness is lingual, to demonstrate that conscious perception will organise reality by that category necessarily.

[23:50:12] fifel It also means we can short circuit a shit load of arguments about whether external reality exists, and what “real” really is

[23:51:41] fifel You do. Descartean “Thinking thus being” is a solid ontological argument for non-instantiated consciousness, and [I must ask you to imagine that I exist to conduct a phenomenological argument honestly such that]: as I only think through lingually ordered structures, including the symbolic, thus language is essential to a conscious that in this instance I can demonstrate has the illusion of continuity and identity. You could independen

[23:51:42] fifel tly conduct such a simulation to demonstrate it to yourself.

[23:52:17] fifel That’s why I skipped the argument from external reality: it is complex and starts causation chains.

[23:52:43] fifel Grumblebee: I’ve experienced bicameral thought processes during epilepsy, and there’s still an illusion of unitary cognition of identity’s self-reflection.

[23:53:15] fifel Which is why I imported language into my argument to speed up the higher level argument about deos.

[23:53:45] fifel Grumblebee: You gonna go for the 3 colour language argument option here?

[23:54:35] fifel Grumblebee: its a reasonable presumption that in a dark back alley IRC channel full of adults, that they’re well versed on Heidegger and linguistics.

[23:55:06] fifel I’d get Hannah Arendt to draw my water and chop my wood if you know what I mean.

[23:56:09] fifel Grumblebee: Its difficult for me to know if I need to give the second year primer on fundamental humanities research questions, commonly agree’d important questions and the various potential answer chains. I’d get kicked fast.

[23:56:39] fifel I’m not talking about using Theweleit / D&G to explore phallonegation in women as beneficiaries of patriarchy.

[23:57:30] fifel But “Does the mind exist? How prove”. “Does language exist? How prove?” I’d rather treat my interlocutor as if she is already a Batchelor of Paris 8, than an undergraduate.

[23:58:12] fifel irish666: Woah, it got that I needed a National Front for the Liberation of South Vietnam flag.

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