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Topic: #Welcome to #computertech! | End3r is DJing live at https://is.gd/yDJnuF | HIDE YOUR KIDS HIDE YOUR WIFE | End3r HAPPY 9001 BIRTHDAY |
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Channel Log Archive for #computertech

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Filtering by user: melzz1
Tuesday, May 5, 2026
[01:45:23] melzz1 meth definitely gave me brain damage
[01:45:27] melzz1 wtf happened to my irc
[01:45:32] melzz1 why is there a 1 next to my name
[01:45:43] melzz1 i disconnected my vpn so i could post on 4chan and this happened
[01:46:34] melzz1 oh
[01:46:36] melzz1 fuk
[01:46:40] melzz1 im too lazy and stupid to fix that
[01:46:46] melzz1 i am melzz1 now
[01:47:28] melzz1 ive come to realize that im not any happier than i was before i quit meth and fentanyl
[01:48:37] melzz1 ive done too many serotonergic psychs
[01:48:43] melzz1 brain is depleted
[01:48:55] melzz1 its fine when serotonin is low replace it with gaba
[01:49:10] melzz1 i am unhappy but i feel numb and unaware
[01:49:38] melzz1 im too lazy..,
[01:53:45] melzz1 not really
[01:53:53] melzz1 the problem isnt the weed its the gabapentin
[01:53:55] melzz1 i took 2000mg
[01:54:18] melzz1 weed doesnt make u as lazy as gabaergics lol
[01:54:22] melzz1 i know weed technically is gabaergic but barely
[01:54:29] melzz1 it is whn u mix it with gabaergics
[01:54:32] melzz1 yeah
[01:56:07] melzz1 idk i like being lazy
[01:56:10] melzz1 it feels good
[01:56:46] melzz1 i was told by some ppl i was in a vc with last time i did more than 1.6g of gabapentin that they had to remind me to breathe
[01:57:36] melzz1 i think its like proven science that you are more sensxitivie to gaba drugs when u have real underlying conditions
[01:57:58] melzz1 it feels heroic
[01:58:15] melzz1 its a miracel i can still type rn lolk
[01:58:37] melzz1 i just have so much experience rotting on my pc talking 2 ppl on discord and irc that i have extremely good typing reflexes
[01:58:55] melzz1 the fact that u can evern understand me at all
[01:59:22] melzz1 im operating in what i call a "black box" mode where i jsut directly turn my thoughts into text on the screen via muscle memory
[01:59:55] melzz1 i barely even remember wherei am but my bdoy is trained to just repeat its last instruction which is to seek social interaction (dopamine)
[02:00:43] melzz1 SAME
[02:01:01] melzz1 i bought a flip phone to try and fix with my dopamine problem
[02:01:07] melzz1 but now i jsut work overtime on discord at home
[02:01:23] melzz1 its impossible to have hobbies bc i have to spend all my time keeping myself numb
[02:01:34] melzz1 drugs are genuinely a hobby to me
[02:01:51] melzz1 my computers and guitar are just room decorations now
[02:02:02] melzz1 actually
[02:02:10] melzz1 while i'm depressed and fucked up i should try to write something
[02:02:25] melzz1 hopefully i can even still play
[02:09:25] melzz1 im too fucked upt o play guityat properly
[02:36:13] melzz1 i wrote like 1/3rd of a new song so thats progress
[02:38:45] melzz1 im geting into the habit of leaving my lights on while im in my rom
[02:38:48] melzz1 i need to be brighter
[02:56:10] melzz1 i used tobe that way >Fensta
[02:56:16] melzz1 fuck ism sorry i cant type for shti
[03:00:46] melzz1 the momemt i gget consistent access to alcohol im screwed
[03:01:24] melzz1 i have this problem where whenever a drop of alcohol touches my tongue i go into this frenzy where i frantically binge drink until i pass out
[03:01:43] melzz1 my friend had to literally rip the bottle out of my arms bc she thought i was trying to kill myself
[03:01:52] melzz1 i miss her
[03:02:25] melzz1 i havent had irl friends since january
[03:02:35] melzz1 thats why im on al lthese drugs
[03:04:57] melzz1 i am a very very lonely person wjho was supposed to be an extrovert but ismissing the friends t
[04:11:29] melzz1 what
[04:11:50] melzz1 being lonely isnt cute
[05:00:29] melzz1 good night irc
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