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Topic: Welcome to #computertech || be aware of the MagicalPig

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Filtering by user: phonekait

Tuesday, March 14, 2023

[00:00:10] phonekait As a chick, I do not stick random things in mine.

[00:00:26] phonekait Never did.

[00:00:35] phonekait Nope.

[00:01:05] phonekait I was scared of the lid coming off in there tbh

[00:01:06] phonekait Lol

[00:01:38] phonekait It's also not hard to walk into Spencer's Gifts at 12 and buy a sex toy.

[00:02:30] phonekait He regularly puts sharpies up his vagina

[00:02:31] phonekait Duh

[00:03:24] phonekait Nah, I was scared of potentially damaging my vagina, so I never put anything up there besides sex toys, medications (monistat), or tampons.

[00:03:42] phonekait Zack: you've come at a good time

[00:03:51] phonekait I should introduce these guys to the list.

[00:03:56] phonekait ComputerTech: yes

[00:04:26] phonekait There's a liveshow Zack and I watch called What The Fuck Is Wrong With You

[00:04:47] phonekait And there's a general rule/category called "that doesn't go there"

[00:04:54] phonekait Also known as "it's not a pocket"

[00:05:14] phonekait No

[00:05:49] phonekait There is a yearly special the show runs called the Rectalspective

[00:05:53] phonekait https://defector.com/what-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-last-year-3

[00:05:58] phonekait Here's this year's list

[00:06:01] phonekait You're welcome

[00:07:19] phonekait Keep in mind, this list is from American emergency rooms

[00:07:40] phonekait Never mind the story from France who stuck a WW1 artillery shell up his ass

[00:07:54] phonekait A 60 something year old guy ^

[00:08:11] phonekait No, but they evacuated the damn hospital

[00:10:10] phonekait !bang

[00:10:13] phonekait !bang

[00:10:17] phonekait !reload

[00:10:35] phonekait .w

[15:02:48] phonekait Skanks

[16:04:30] phonekait He's Irish, isn't he?

[16:10:34] phonekait It's not raging if it's while you're working

[16:10:41] phonekait HEY

[16:10:47] phonekait She's my slut

[16:10:49] phonekait fuck off deadly

[16:11:06] phonekait Imma come up on you

[16:11:08] phonekait motherfucker

[16:11:56] phonekait Why are you quoting the US Dept of Health AS A EUROPEAN?

[16:12:26] phonekait ComputerTech: kick deadly pls

[16:14:25] phonekait I imported ur nan

[16:14:33] phonekait Isn't deadly in Manchester?

[16:14:42] phonekait There you go

[16:15:23] phonekait COUP D ETAT

[16:15:38] phonekait Peorth:

[16:16:25] phonekait NJ doesn't want your ass

[16:16:36] phonekait lmao

[16:16:47] phonekait So is a beehive

[16:17:18] phonekait He'd have to fly into Newark, so the weapons and the swearing would be appropriate

[16:17:35] phonekait Nah, Newark has knives AND guns

[16:17:48] phonekait Shut up h4 >:(

[16:18:56] phonekait sur: It's a joke

[16:18:57] phonekait :P

[16:19:26] phonekait Surprisingly, h4 and I mostly get along now

[16:19:32] phonekait Don't ask me how, I have no clue

[16:19:43] phonekait lol

[16:20:04] phonekait He met lola-chan in #chat and realized I'm not the dumbest American on IRC

[16:20:41] phonekait She lives in Murica

[16:20:43] phonekait Sadly

[16:20:55] phonekait YOU'RE FOOD

[16:21:15] phonekait lol

[16:21:17] phonekait no u!

[16:21:42] phonekait I'm not sure who's more stupid, her or senior

[16:22:37] phonekait foxy: lola and piba

[16:22:50] phonekait Don't say baa, you'll attract CT

[16:23:07] phonekait Tell her to suck my dick then

[16:23:16] phonekait Probably

[16:23:29] phonekait She and Lola claim I treat CT like shit

[16:23:30] phonekait lol

[16:23:45] phonekait As a joke.

[16:24:04] phonekait rofl

[16:28:19] phonekait $10 ComputerTech posted all 3 of those

[16:29:25] phonekait crovax: hope you use condoms

[18:18:45] phonekait Ew

[18:18:48] phonekait Please shower

[18:18:53] phonekait No one likes dirty balls

[18:21:26] phonekait Everybody except ComputerTech

[18:21:57] phonekait ComputerTech: no, she can be your friend

[18:22:12] phonekait ComputerTech:

[18:22:36] phonekait I am dealing with coworker incompetence, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, and I just started the third row of my birth control pill pack

[18:22:46] phonekait Do I make myself clear or do I need to come slap you into next week?

[18:22:57] phonekait foxy:

[18:23:14] phonekait foxy: your services are needed

[18:23:59] phonekait VANILLA SEX IS BORING, OK

[18:25:00] phonekait But that's the fun part

[18:25:06] phonekait Not to mention what you can do with the lasso

[18:25:33] phonekait SHUT UP SHEEPFUCKER YOU'RE STILL A VIRGIN

[18:26:45] phonekait BITCH YOU STEPPED OUT ON YOUR GF AND GOT YOUR SIDEPIECE PREGGO

[18:26:54] phonekait And now you say you can't be associated with hoe shit?

[18:26:57] phonekait jfc

[18:27:16] phonekait YOU ADMITTED IT

[18:27:41] phonekait Being in need of some D doesn't mean she's a friend in need

[18:27:48] phonekait Also wear condoms

[18:27:49] phonekait jfc

[18:28:04] phonekait Latex, sheepskin, polyurethane

[18:28:07] phonekait PICK ONE

[18:28:27] phonekait Just don't tell ComputerTech

[18:28:38] phonekait Also theyr're less effective

[18:28:50] phonekait no, he'd get mad over sheepskin

[18:29:03] phonekait Cause it's a skinned sheep he can't fuck

[18:29:26] phonekait You just wanna swing at balls with a giant stick

[18:29:26] phonekait stfu

[18:32:06] phonekait Audi: he said pi, not creampie

[18:32:07] phonekait stfu

[18:32:08] phonekait srs

[18:32:36] phonekait .................

[18:32:42] phonekait EVERYONE WHO'S HAD PROPER SEX EDUCATION

[18:32:50] phonekait Also

[18:33:04] phonekait you know what doctors call people who practice the fertility awareness method?

[18:33:07] phonekait PARENTS.

[18:34:03] phonekait !bang

[18:34:23] phonekait ComputerTech: SMD

[18:34:55] phonekait Audi: You should really practice two methods of birth control.

[18:35:00] phonekait PULL OUT DOESN'T COUNT

[18:35:15] phonekait NO SHIT

[18:35:18] phonekait ^

[18:35:45] phonekait h4: he has a kid

[18:35:46] phonekait lol

[18:36:18] phonekait HUMAN KIDS ARE DEMON SPAWN

[18:36:47] phonekait no u!

[18:36:59] phonekait sur: get your German ass in here

[18:37:03] phonekait no u!

[18:37:19] phonekait Everything CAN go in the oven

[18:37:25] phonekait Whether it should is a different story.

[18:38:14] phonekait My 6.5 year old nephew got pissed at me when he was 18 months because I wouldn't let him slide down the banister, so he threw my cell phone down the flight of stairs

[18:38:37] phonekait Audi: I gave him a time out and a talking to.

[18:39:02] phonekait sur: tell h4 and Audi that human children are demon spawn

[18:39:24] phonekait Please don't fuck kids

[18:39:36] phonekait We're not Catholic priests or members of the US Republican party.

[18:40:03] phonekait No, Republicans.

[18:40:15] phonekait Matt Gaetz anyone?

[18:40:38] phonekait I'll agree both parties are fucked up

[18:40:43] phonekait But the GOP sucks more.

[18:40:58] phonekait WV LITERALLY shot down a bill outlawing child marriage.

[18:41:23] phonekait No

[18:41:27] phonekait Cause balls still function

[18:41:32] phonekait Cut off the balls.

[18:42:04] phonekait ^

[18:42:15] phonekait It's true!

[18:42:27] phonekait Cats like to run trains on mamas

[18:42:48] phonekait Have you seen a litter of kittens with multiple different patterns?

[18:42:56] phonekait THEY ARE

[18:43:47] phonekait https://cat-world.com/can-a-litter-of-kittens-have-multiple-fathers/

[18:43:54] phonekait Audi: male cats have spiny dicks

[18:44:00] phonekait Would you want that in you?

[18:44:05] phonekait I REST MY CASE

[18:44:23] phonekait All my kitties are neutered :)

[18:44:38] phonekait Can I neuter ComputerTech next time I go back to the vet?

[18:49:41] phonekait mmmmm biting during sex

[19:44:44] phonekait Today's Kait quote: "fucking fuck with a fucking cherry on top of the fuck sundae"

[19:53:17] phonekait ComputerTech can suck my schlong

[20:38:01] phonekait But my insults aren't general. They're targeted at the appropriate person.

[20:38:16] phonekait You wish

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