IRC Driven

[00:18:13] xEmperorEmber/rizon Hello.

[00:19:13] xEmperorEmber/rizon Hi CoolKevin.

[00:19:22] xEmperorEmber/rizon 10 Chat windows open, you're the winner.

[00:19:29] xEmperorEmber/rizon Sent Hello to each.

[00:19:38] xEmperorEmber/rizon lol

[00:19:45] xEmperorEmber/rizon A/S/L

[00:19:56] xEmperorEmber/rizon (yeah, I just did that... lmfao)

[00:20:01] xEmperorEmber/rizon Oh...

[00:20:16] xEmperorEmber/rizon Well, this just got awkward.

[00:20:23] xEmperorEmber/rizon Age/Sex/Location

[00:20:30] xEmperorEmber/rizon I pretty sure I can deduce the sex part.

[00:20:37] xEmperorEmber/rizon HAHAHA

[00:20:39] xEmperorEmber/rizon Nice.

[00:20:54] xEmperorEmber/rizon Alright, fair enough.

[00:21:25] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm going to pause this conversation and say... "no."

[00:21:31] xEmperorEmber/rizon "No, that does not help."

[00:21:34] xEmperorEmber/rizon lol

[00:21:47] xEmperorEmber/rizon But, if that's your kink, Kevin...

[00:21:50] xEmperorEmber/rizon I mean...

[00:22:01] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm sure there is someone on MIRC to oblige.

[00:22:10] xEmperorEmber/rizon Grrl.

[00:22:26] xEmperorEmber/rizon I am literally here to not explode.

[00:22:36] xEmperorEmber/rizon So brace yourself, that in mind.

[00:22:56] xEmperorEmber/rizon Like... we're talking straight trauma dump.

[00:23:15] xEmperorEmber/rizon That's exactly the right response, lol.

[00:23:21] xEmperorEmber/rizon I need someone chill AF.

[00:24:09] xEmperorEmber/rizon hahaha... that still works. Wow.

[00:25:07] xEmperorEmber/rizon So... wife got leukemia. Wife cheated from hospital bed 9 months in. Wife accused me of cheating (never did). Wife hits me and daughter. Leave wife. Now I am dating a 20 year old college student on a track scholarship.

[00:25:12] xEmperorEmber/rizon I am 38.

[00:25:19] xEmperorEmber/rizon My life, is a mess.

[00:26:04] xEmperorEmber/rizon Daughter gets sent to live with someone out of state. Daughter says "mom says if I talk to you, she takes all my shit away."

[00:26:19] xEmperorEmber/rizon Now... no wife, no daughter. Just 20 year old track athlete.

[00:26:33] xEmperorEmber/rizon @owenambro - Thanks, noted.

[00:26:41] xEmperorEmber/rizon She is... absurdly hot.

[00:26:54] xEmperorEmber/rizon Like.. fuck...

[00:27:08] xEmperorEmber/rizon Okay, I left the busy city I live in, and rented a place 5 minutes from her campus.

[00:27:12] xEmperorEmber/rizon Half her clothes are here.

[00:27:22] xEmperorEmber/rizon Toothbrush, the works.

[00:27:51] xEmperorEmber/rizon She is 120, 5'4, solid muscle. Six pack. Everything my ex could never be.

[00:28:14] xEmperorEmber/rizon But... I just have this whole... "I'm am taking advantage of her." thing happening.

[00:28:56] xEmperorEmber/rizon She wants to party. 22nd, that's a halloween party. Had her costumes (yes, multiple: sexy nurse, or french maid) delivered to my PO BOX.

[00:29:32] xEmperorEmber/rizon I just applied for a job in this shit hole city that pays $60k, and they are on my dick. 1st interview and it is time to meet the team and take a tour next week.

[00:29:51] xEmperorEmber/rizon I DO COME TO IRC TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM.

[00:30:02] xEmperorEmber/rizon Surprise ruined?

[00:30:13] xEmperorEmber/rizon Thank you Owen.

[00:30:34] xEmperorEmber/rizon Everything feels pointless.

[00:30:51] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm pushing on a taught 20 year old with the tightest damn.. uh hummm.. I've ever felt.

[00:30:55] xEmperorEmber/rizon And it means nothing.

[00:31:08] xEmperorEmber/rizon My life is shit.

[00:31:35] xEmperorEmber/rizon Well, I did have contact, through discord, but she broke it off because she got threatened by mom.

[00:31:43] xEmperorEmber/rizon LMFAO@OWEN

[00:31:54] xEmperorEmber/rizon Or, bowling?

[00:32:02] xEmperorEmber/rizon She is 16.

[00:32:26] xEmperorEmber/rizon Props to Ahsoka.

[00:32:33] xEmperorEmber/rizon No, 16.

[00:32:40] xEmperorEmber/rizon lol

[00:32:51] xEmperorEmber/rizon Yeah, real shit, homie.

[00:33:08] xEmperorEmber/rizon Man, I'd like to think so, but IDK, Mom is scary.

[00:33:48] xEmperorEmber/rizon I got shit. No divorce. Common Law. If we did a divorce, I would take the house defacto, but I want ex to have it. She is recovering from Leukemia and a brain aneurysm that made her.. ummmm... violent.

[00:34:09] xEmperorEmber/rizon So, I COULD divorce, or I could just pretend like we were never married.

[00:34:17] xEmperorEmber/rizon I am opting for the latter for her benefit.

[00:34:57] xEmperorEmber/rizon You don't know the half of it. FR.

[00:35:44] xEmperorEmber/rizon Common law is where you live with someone, share bills, and so by law, your married.

[00:35:57] xEmperorEmber/rizon But, if you separate, and no one makes a fuss... well, then that's okay, too.

[00:36:06] xEmperorEmber/rizon Oh, I'm in the states.

[00:36:18] xEmperorEmber/rizon Texas, specifically. Common law is a thing.

[00:37:07] xEmperorEmber/rizon No, we didn't. She was married before and the guy raped and beat her, held her against her will, etc. Kinda turned her off to the idea of marriage? IDK...

[00:37:22] xEmperorEmber/rizon I asked several times, especially after the leukemia. I offered to put her on my insurance.

[00:37:31] xEmperorEmber/rizon But she still declined.

[00:37:41] xEmperorEmber/rizon Met her in 6th grade, btw.

[00:37:44] xEmperorEmber/rizon lol

[00:38:05] xEmperorEmber/rizon She is a recovering heroin addict. She was 10 years clean, till the surgeries.

[00:38:17] xEmperorEmber/rizon Yeah, 11... 12.

[00:38:21] xEmperorEmber/rizon I was 11, she was 12.

[00:39:04] xEmperorEmber/rizon We liked each other, started dating fr 10th grade. She was my first (I was her.... 3rd?) and then I dumped her because she kept sucking cock for weed.

[00:39:48] xEmperorEmber/rizon Fast forward 5 years later, she's a strung out heroin addict asking for help. I dump my super stable librarian girlfriend who is ridiculously hot that I've been dating for nearly 7 years, and move back to her. Give her a house, etc.

[00:40:02] xEmperorEmber/rizon OWEN...

[00:40:30] xEmperorEmber/rizon Yes... Things I know now. But I was in DISNEY love, okay?

[00:41:22] xEmperorEmber/rizon Anyway... She gets sick. She starts talking to her ex because I'm not there enough at her hospital bed. YK, too busy running the household, taking care of the kid, cooking, cleaning, shopping, and researching cancer.

[00:41:51] xEmperorEmber/rizon Then her doctors told me because our house was old, we should remodel to renovate for any mold. Well, I did that with my daughter. we stripped that house to the fucking timbers.

[00:41:59] xEmperorEmber/rizon And rebuilt it back up from scratch.

[00:42:09] xEmperorEmber/rizon And the whole time... she was fucking chatting her ex.

[00:42:36] xEmperorEmber/rizon Ultimate.

[00:42:51] xEmperorEmber/rizon Well, she had never hit me before.

[00:43:13] xEmperorEmber/rizon But fathers day, before the cancer was diagnosed, she beat the shit out of me because I was crying about my dad dying a month before.

[00:43:21] xEmperorEmber/rizon She laughed in my face and called me a little bitch.

[00:43:37] xEmperorEmber/rizon Never had physical violence in our relationship before that. I knew something was wrong.

[00:44:16] xEmperorEmber/rizon Turns out it was her drinking too much (subbing the heroin) and having an aneurysm, plus the leukemia stopped her from clotting, so when she drank (heavily) she just bled on her brain.

[00:44:38] xEmperorEmber/rizon I stayed because... kid, and knowing her for so long.

[00:45:03] xEmperorEmber/rizon To be honest, when she beat me bloody in June, I was leaving. I got a storage unit, another bank account, I was making that slow exit.

[00:45:05] xEmperorEmber/rizon NOW.

[00:45:18] xEmperorEmber/rizon Believe it or not, she was diagnosed on my fucking birthday.

[00:46:03] xEmperorEmber/rizon Which was the week that I was going to leave. Her and I had a few drinks. And she started to collapse and couldn't see. Took her to Urgent Care. They pulled her blood, said she needed a transfusion but wouldn't say why. She was in the hospital that night.

[00:46:11] xEmperorEmber/rizon m5b sub variant.

[00:46:29] xEmperorEmber/rizon LOL@CoolKevin

[00:46:36] xEmperorEmber/rizon Shit... this feels so good.

[00:46:41] xEmperorEmber/rizon To be able to vent.

[00:46:55] xEmperorEmber/rizon Wait, does that mean Owen bailed?

[00:47:00] xEmperorEmber/rizon That makes me sad.

[00:47:10] xEmperorEmber/rizon Anyway, this is all 100% true.

[00:47:16] xEmperorEmber/rizon It's fucking awful.

[00:47:32] xEmperorEmber/rizon So... anyway, 6 months on. This 20 year old is amazingly hot.

[00:47:47] xEmperorEmber/rizon I have moved away from my old city, and I commute 4 hours round trip daily for my old job.

[00:48:06] xEmperorEmber/rizon I just interviewed today for a new position 2 minutes from my new apartment, and 5 minutes from her campus.

[00:48:23] xEmperorEmber/rizon Before the apartment, I was sleeping in a tent in a state park.

[00:48:30] xEmperorEmber/rizon I met this girl on reddit.

[00:48:55] xEmperorEmber/rizon Her parents own 3 houses. I don't know what the first one is worth, but the last to are north of 5 million combined.

[00:49:26] xEmperorEmber/rizon She drafted this fake ass letter saying she got a scholarship to this college, and passed it on to her parents, but she only had the money to cover one semester.

[00:49:40] xEmperorEmber/rizon I think she is using me to cover the second semester. IDK if this is love, gentlemen.

[00:49:49] xEmperorEmber/rizon In fact... she may be cheating on me regularly.

[00:49:56] xEmperorEmber/rizon I have no real way of knowing.

[00:50:08] xEmperorEmber/rizon BUT... she has given me around $3,000 to get on my feet.

[00:50:28] xEmperorEmber/rizon So... does it matter if she is cheating if I get that money and she still hands me her body, and we have a nice time together?

[00:50:33] xEmperorEmber/rizon Am I asking for too much>

[00:50:36] xEmperorEmber/rizon ?

[00:50:45] xEmperorEmber/rizon Because all she had was $3k.

[00:50:52] xEmperorEmber/rizon School is $8k per semester.

[00:51:20] xEmperorEmber/rizon I had NOTHING, but she knew I could land a job making bank, and she knew I could pull my retirement fund from my current job valuated around $20k, which I am working on doing.

[00:51:29] xEmperorEmber/rizon brb. One second. HAVE TO PEE.

[00:54:33] xEmperorEmber/rizon Her parents think she was awarded a scholarship. They are SUPER strict. She made a hoax saying that this college would pay for everything just so she could get out of their house and live in a dorm.

[00:54:43] xEmperorEmber/rizon To experience some freedom. They are very controlling.

[00:54:51] xEmperorEmber/rizon NONE of this is bullshit.

[00:54:56] xEmperorEmber/rizon I swear. ONG.

[00:55:17] xEmperorEmber/rizon On God.

[00:55:24] xEmperorEmber/rizon Thanks Owen.

[00:55:39] xEmperorEmber/rizon Dude, yeah, but think about it... You live in a 2 million dollar house.

[00:55:46] xEmperorEmber/rizon When you gonna give that up>

[00:55:47] xEmperorEmber/rizon ?

[00:55:50] xEmperorEmber/rizon And a nice car?

[00:56:07] xEmperorEmber/rizon Yeah, she isn't going to break with that.

[00:56:14] xEmperorEmber/rizon Are you guys ready for the green log?

[00:56:20] xEmperorEmber/rizon (back to the future 3 reference)

[00:56:24] xEmperorEmber/rizon ...or was it a red log

[00:56:25] xEmperorEmber/rizon ?

[00:56:31] xEmperorEmber/rizon THE FINAL LOG.

[00:56:50] xEmperorEmber/rizon JESUS KEVIN

[00:56:53] xEmperorEmber/rizon Neither has she.

[00:56:58] xEmperorEmber/rizon I am making her watch them all.

[00:57:00] xEmperorEmber/rizon Kevin is 24.

[00:57:18] xEmperorEmber/rizon YES OWEN.

[00:57:21] xEmperorEmber/rizon Thank you.

[00:57:29] xEmperorEmber/rizon So she is black. Nigerian Black.

[00:57:33] xEmperorEmber/rizon I am white.

[00:57:37] xEmperorEmber/rizon Her parents are racist.

[00:58:02] xEmperorEmber/rizon This relationship can never go anywhere. She has literally cried asking me to cum in her to have a kid, and to marry her.

[00:58:18] xEmperorEmber/rizon OMG...If I were less modest, I would share a picture.

[00:58:34] xEmperorEmber/rizon She literally is the most amazing woman I have ever had the honor of.. uh hummm.

[00:58:47] xEmperorEmber/rizon Like, half the time I'm just thinking it's not real.

[00:58:55] xEmperorEmber/rizon Anyway, beyond that.

[00:59:08] xEmperorEmber/rizon Well, because she's on that parent dollar.

[00:59:34] xEmperorEmber/rizon And she is afraid if they find out that she is dating a man 18 years older that is WHITE she will be cut off, and kicked out of the family.

[00:59:38] xEmperorEmber/rizon TBH, she probably would be.

[01:00:25] xEmperorEmber/rizon So, I think I fucked up tonight. Shit, I think I have fucked up a lot. The other day, she said she shot pool with a guy and got his snap.

[01:00:58] xEmperorEmber/rizon And was going to ask him to shoot pool again. I freaked out. Called it cheating. Asked if she'd like it if I went and did shit one on one with someone of the opposite sex.

[01:01:15] xEmperorEmber/rizon She said no, and then she was all like "I Am just making friends."

[01:01:22] xEmperorEmber/rizon IDK, maybe it's a generational thing?

[01:01:36] xEmperorEmber/rizon To me... you DM someone and talk about meeting one on one that's a date.

[01:01:43] xEmperorEmber/rizon You think so Owen?

[01:01:59] xEmperorEmber/rizon Can I ask how old you are?

[01:02:01] xEmperorEmber/rizon Owne?

[01:02:02] xEmperorEmber/rizon Owen?

[01:02:48] xEmperorEmber/rizon Not that any answer invalidates your opinions and suggestions, but like Orwell... some are more valid than others.

[01:02:50] xEmperorEmber/rizon #animalfarm

[01:03:38] xEmperorEmber/rizon Also, her and I have been exclusive for about 4 months.

[01:03:53] xEmperorEmber/rizon Alright. You are 20. I am 38.

[01:03:55] xEmperorEmber/rizon I fucked up.

[01:04:02] xEmperorEmber/rizon Hands down.

[01:04:17] xEmperorEmber/rizon So Owen, you would be cool with your lady going out with another guy?

[01:04:23] xEmperorEmber/rizon One on one, to shoot pool?

[01:04:30] xEmperorEmber/rizon In the dorms common area?

[01:04:47] xEmperorEmber/rizon I already did apologize, and she did understand.

[01:05:03] xEmperorEmber/rizon LIKE... I don't fucking get why she keeps giving me chances.

[01:05:17] xEmperorEmber/rizon Owen, speak.

[01:05:20] xEmperorEmber/rizon I am listening.

[01:05:29] xEmperorEmber/rizon Alright, I need to go with it, right?

[01:05:36] xEmperorEmber/rizon Let her stay out till 2 AM and not sweat it.

[01:05:50] xEmperorEmber/rizon I think you guys are right.

[01:06:03] xEmperorEmber/rizon Okay... I WAS CHILL AF.... guys, I was.

[01:06:10] xEmperorEmber/rizon Then something happened like 3 weeks ago.

[01:06:17] xEmperorEmber/rizon May I?

[01:06:19] xEmperorEmber/rizon Thanks...

[01:06:42] xEmperorEmber/rizon So... before the apartment, I have her in this scuzzy hotel, pushing on her. She likes to be treated like a slut, IDK how to do that and be comfortable.

[01:06:53] xEmperorEmber/rizon So we start looking through her phone at guys she's sexted on reddit.

[01:06:58] xEmperorEmber/rizon (BTW, I AM HER SECOND).

[01:07:34] xEmperorEmber/rizon And I have her watch this video over and over of a guy finishing on his chest because it's someone she used to chat. I am just trying to cathc the "slut vibe" so I can satisfy her.

[01:07:39] xEmperorEmber/rizon Anyway... SHE SAYS...

[01:07:53] xEmperorEmber/rizon "We can call him on discord right now and have him watch.

[01:07:54] xEmperorEmber/rizon "

[01:08:07] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm like.. "UHHHHH... Are there rammifactions? how close were you guys?

[01:08:09] xEmperorEmber/rizon "

[01:08:26] xEmperorEmber/rizon And before she answers, she is masturbating in front of this guy.

[01:08:36] xEmperorEmber/rizon Then before I know it, I'm taking her in front of him.

[01:08:48] xEmperorEmber/rizon BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE TREATED LIKE A SLUT.

[01:08:56] xEmperorEmber/rizon So... lol

[01:09:03] xEmperorEmber/rizon That's what happened.

[01:09:11] xEmperorEmber/rizon I fake orgasm.

[01:09:13] xEmperorEmber/rizon And leave.

[01:09:19] xEmperorEmber/rizon And she is on the bed, him and her.

[01:09:28] xEmperorEmber/rizon So she has to finish for him. She's a squirter.

[01:09:30] xEmperorEmber/rizon So...

[01:09:31] xEmperorEmber/rizon Fuck.

[01:09:45] xEmperorEmber/rizon Her and I are making eye contact the whole time, and I know that she knows that she can't get there.

[01:10:12] xEmperorEmber/rizon That she isn't comfortable. She only ever showed this guy her tits. She hates the idea of people seeing her.... uhummm on camera over the internet.

[01:10:33] xEmperorEmber/rizon So... I'm about to start laughing outloud and ruin everything because I can read her face.

[01:10:55] xEmperorEmber/rizon So I leave to the hotel bathroom. When I come back, she's pissing on everything.

[01:11:06] xEmperorEmber/rizon This guy thinks it's legit.

[01:11:09] xEmperorEmber/rizon We end the call.

[01:11:17] xEmperorEmber/rizon She says "I feel bad. I didn't like t hat."

[01:11:27] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm like... "Why did you do it?"

[01:11:44] xEmperorEmber/rizon "Because I thought you wanted it, you were putting the video in my face, I thought you wanted it."

[01:12:01] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm like..."I just wanted to find a way to treat you like a slut that I felt i could roll with."

[01:12:15] xEmperorEmber/rizon "that meant having you review other guys you fucked around with while I was in you."

[01:12:24] xEmperorEmber/rizon She's like..."FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK."

[01:12:27] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm like....

[01:12:35] xEmperorEmber/rizon "FUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK."

[01:12:44] xEmperorEmber/rizon we realize neither one of us wanted that.

[01:12:49] xEmperorEmber/rizon But... TOO LATE>

[01:12:52] xEmperorEmber/rizon SINCE THEN

[01:12:56] xEmperorEmber/rizon I HAVE BEEN INSECURE.

[01:13:15] xEmperorEmber/rizon Before that, IDGAF what she did at college in her dorms.

[01:14:39] xEmperorEmber/rizon So, yeah, now I am all self conscious.

[01:14:43] xEmperorEmber/rizon TO ADD TO IT ALL

[01:14:57] xEmperorEmber/rizon All the stress over the past year has my blood pressure at 190/120.

[01:15:01] xEmperorEmber/rizon That's stroke levele.

[01:15:10] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm going to die fucking her, I swear to god.

[01:15:38] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm starting to wonder after that last sentence if english IS Kevin's first language.

[01:15:51] xEmperorEmber/rizon It's okay, bro. You can come out of the multilingual closet. I got you.

[01:19:04] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm back.. sorry, she texted.

[01:19:24] xEmperorEmber/rizon We're talking about charcuterie boards.

[01:19:26] xEmperorEmber/rizon FML.

[01:19:44] xEmperorEmber/rizon I don't have any, Kevin.

[01:19:49] xEmperorEmber/rizon She's tried to find them.

[01:19:57] xEmperorEmber/rizon She's threatened my butthole.

[01:20:03] xEmperorEmber/rizon I don't think I have one.

[01:20:05] xEmperorEmber/rizon YES.

[01:20:10] xEmperorEmber/rizon SERVING HER IS ONE.

[01:20:12] xEmperorEmber/rizon Good call.

[01:20:18] xEmperorEmber/rizon I fucking worship that body.

[01:20:25] xEmperorEmber/rizon And her, as a person.

[01:20:31] xEmperorEmber/rizon Well, she is a sub, too.

[01:20:35] xEmperorEmber/rizon That's the problem.

[01:20:40] xEmperorEmber/rizon Double sub...

[01:20:54] xEmperorEmber/rizon Insight, Sushi?

[01:22:56] xEmperorEmber/rizon How do I play it?

[01:22:58] xEmperorEmber/rizon I've tried.

[01:23:22] xEmperorEmber/rizon It's hard. Like the only thing that has worked is watching he watch videos of other guys that they've sent to her.

[01:23:30] xEmperorEmber/rizon ...did that make sense?

[01:23:52] xEmperorEmber/rizon Can I send images here? No, right?

[01:24:08] xEmperorEmber/rizon JFC... Sometimes she goes out with me nipples visible.

[01:24:15] xEmperorEmber/rizon She has a total nipple fetish, btw.

[01:24:26] xEmperorEmber/rizon She doesn't like watching, Kevin.

[01:24:28] xEmperorEmber/rizon ....

[01:24:32] xEmperorEmber/rizon She likes....

[01:24:37] xEmperorEmber/rizon Listening.

[01:24:45] xEmperorEmber/rizon The video does nothing.

[01:24:49] xEmperorEmber/rizon Hers, not mind.

[01:24:53] xEmperorEmber/rizon *mine

[01:25:00] xEmperorEmber/rizon Scroll, soosh.

[01:25:14] xEmperorEmber/rizon That's the fastest way.

[01:25:31] xEmperorEmber/rizon Okay. Sushi... here.

[01:26:16] xEmperorEmber/rizon I am 38, I am now dating a 20 year old. This is after leaving my wife for beating me... but she beat me because she had a brain injury, she had a brain injury because of leukemia, she also abused our daughter who now lives out of state.

[01:27:10] xEmperorEmber/rizon 20 year old is a college student. She is exploring her sexuality. I am a part of that for her. We have been together for 4 months. We had a mishap 3 weeks ago where we misunderstood each other and it resulted in her masturbating and us having sex in front of a former reddit aquantiance.

[01:27:13] xEmperorEmber/rizon Of hers.

[01:27:24] xEmperorEmber/rizon And now I am all insecure... guy had a nice cock, tbh.

[01:27:30] xEmperorEmber/rizon I mean, mine is FINE.

[01:27:57] xEmperorEmber/rizon But. this guy beat me in girth, maybe a little in length, and his shit was a bit more veiny.

[01:28:08] xEmperorEmber/rizon Nah Kevin, won't work.

[01:28:21] xEmperorEmber/rizon I take her out and pull her clothes completely off and get her under a blanket.

[01:28:27] xEmperorEmber/rizon In the movie theatre.

[01:28:50] xEmperorEmber/rizon Yeah, that's why I left.

[01:28:58] xEmperorEmber/rizon But now I can't talk to my daughter anymore.

[01:29:14] xEmperorEmber/rizon I left my wife 3 months before meeting the 20 year old.

[01:29:27] xEmperorEmber/rizon I was literally googling how to put a noose around my neck when we met.

[01:31:04] xEmperorEmber/rizon My ex went into remission as the finale of the walking dead aired. I was watching Neegan's wife have leukemia. I was flipping out I was home alone, and I literally took every pill my ex left in the cabinet.

[01:31:10] xEmperorEmber/rizon I woke up very sick.

[01:31:19] xEmperorEmber/rizon Like.. 18 hours later, covered in vomit.

[01:31:24] xEmperorEmber/rizon But I didn't die.

[01:31:36] xEmperorEmber/rizon I couldn't get out of bed for like 3 days.

[01:31:58] xEmperorEmber/rizon I ate shit close to me that I left near by, and I had a gallon of water, because.. IDFK.

[01:32:25] xEmperorEmber/rizon I made it through. I wanted ot die in that moment, but I remember the last thing my dad said.

[01:32:35] xEmperorEmber/rizon "I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF TONIGHT."

[01:32:43] xEmperorEmber/rizon And I thought of how pitiful he sounded.

[01:33:08] xEmperorEmber/rizon And I decided not to try it again, because my daughter knew that's what my dad did, and I'm going to do the same thing?

[01:33:11] xEmperorEmber/rizon Nah. No thanks.

[01:35:43] xEmperorEmber/rizon We're texting right now, finally.

[01:35:50] xEmperorEmber/rizon Can I send screen shots here?

[01:35:54] xEmperorEmber/rizon No, right?

[01:35:55] xEmperorEmber/rizon lol

[01:37:53] xEmperorEmber/rizon "Cool

[01:37:59] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm Laying Down."

[01:38:13] xEmperorEmber/rizon "Can I ask a question?"

[01:38:19] xEmperorEmber/rizon "yeah"

[01:38:50] xEmperorEmber/rizon So you want me to give you space for a while? If you can assure me that you can not move on for a bit, and you just need space, I'll do it."

[01:39:13] xEmperorEmber/rizon (also me) "Caveat. Should I pick you up right now?"

[01:39:29] xEmperorEmber/rizon "If I could sleep with you tonight..."

[01:39:54] xEmperorEmber/rizon "It wouldn't be sexual. I just need a moment to heal."

[01:40:08] xEmperorEmber/rizon "But you should probably call me an asshole."

[01:40:19] xEmperorEmber/rizon HER "I just wanna sleep in my room today."

[01:40:24] xEmperorEmber/rizon ...

[01:40:27] xEmperorEmber/rizon ...

[01:40:28] xEmperorEmber/rizon ...

[01:40:30] xEmperorEmber/rizon ...

[01:41:04] xEmperorEmber/rizon Wait Sushi, where are you confused.

[01:41:06] xEmperorEmber/rizon ?

[01:46:10] xEmperorEmber/rizon Herald... Really?

[01:46:24] xEmperorEmber/rizon So... What, Voyager was dumb?

[01:46:34] xEmperorEmber/rizon Talking about putting private info in public channels.

[01:46:50] xEmperorEmber/rizon You smarter than Sagan?

[01:46:57] xEmperorEmber/rizon ...Ugh..

[01:46:59] xEmperorEmber/rizon Anyway.

[01:51:53] xEmperorEmber/rizon She says.. everything is okay.

[01:51:59] xEmperorEmber/rizon Fuck.

[01:52:08] xEmperorEmber/rizon It means nothing.

[01:52:17] xEmperorEmber/rizon I wish my daughter would write.

[01:55:46] xEmperorEmber/rizon ...

[01:56:51] xEmperorEmber/rizon Sushi-Chan, Fucking DM me, plz. If you're truly female, I'd welcome the insight.

[01:56:54] xEmperorEmber/rizon Owen, thanks.

[01:57:03] xEmperorEmber/rizon Kevind, much appreciated.

[01:59:26] xEmperorEmber/rizon Lol... I wish it was.

[01:59:39] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm trying to figure out if I should just kill myself and be done with it.

[01:59:44] xEmperorEmber/rizon Put it to a vote?

[02:00:02] xEmperorEmber/rizon It's not.

[02:00:19] xEmperorEmber/rizon Wife leukemia, family gone, 20 year old. I'm 38, all true.

[02:00:31] xEmperorEmber/rizon Not a lie in the chat...

[02:00:40] xEmperorEmber/rizon Unfortunately.

[02:01:08] xEmperorEmber/rizon Shit, if you google this nick, you'll see my dumb teenage ass posting poetry from like 2003.

[02:01:20] xEmperorEmber/rizon I didn't even pick a random SN.

[02:01:45] xEmperorEmber/rizon So was my GF.

[02:01:47] xEmperorEmber/rizon FML

[02:01:54] xEmperorEmber/rizon She was 2.

[02:01:58] xEmperorEmber/rizon .. ahhhh fuck.

[02:02:03] xEmperorEmber/rizon Kill myself.

[02:02:06] xEmperorEmber/rizon That's the answer.

[02:02:08] xEmperorEmber/rizon Thanks guys.

[02:02:12] xEmperorEmber/rizon Been a pleasure.

[02:02:57] xEmperorEmber/rizon LMAO@Cheyney

[02:03:15] xEmperorEmber/rizon Patience is a virtue I lack, obviously.

[02:03:18] xEmperorEmber/rizon lol

[02:03:24] xEmperorEmber/rizon My life is a joke.

[02:03:42] xEmperorEmber/rizon CoolKevin, the most fucked up thing about all of it...

[02:03:46] xEmperorEmber/rizon She wanted sex. I didn't.

[02:03:55] xEmperorEmber/rizon I just wanted to hold someone to fall asleep.

[02:04:21] xEmperorEmber/rizon The first time we met in person, she came straight at me. Felt like rape.

[02:05:32] xEmperorEmber/rizon No, she came at me, in a parking lot, while we were eating grocery store sushi, she wrestled me to get my pants down. I fought, but I was afraid I was calling attention to the car. She won.

[02:05:37] xEmperorEmber/rizon That was just oral.

[02:05:56] xEmperorEmber/rizon But later, I got a flat on the way to work, and she offered to pay for the tire, and the tire took 24 hours to repair.

[02:06:00] xEmperorEmber/rizon So she got a hotel room.

[02:06:05] xEmperorEmber/rizon That's where she got me for real.

[02:06:20] xEmperorEmber/rizon She SWORE... since there was no condoms, there would be no sex.

[02:06:30] xEmperorEmber/rizon Ladies and Gentlemen... She is a liar.

[02:06:41] xEmperorEmber/rizon I am only human.

[02:06:45] xEmperorEmber/rizon LMFAO

[02:06:49] xEmperorEmber/rizon Thanks Sushi.

[02:08:08] xEmperorEmber/rizon Must be nice.

[02:08:22] xEmperorEmber/rizon My supervisor at work has put me in a room with no sharp objects.

[02:08:26] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm a fucking mess.

[02:11:26] xEmperorEmber/rizon Okay, who wants pictures?

[02:11:33] xEmperorEmber/rizon To validate this reality?

[02:11:57] xEmperorEmber/rizon IDK how to send them here, but send on the emails and I'll send the pics.

[02:12:11] xEmperorEmber/rizon I just NEED some people to hear what is happening in my life and fucking stick around.

[02:13:07] xEmperorEmber/rizon I have a therapist, Sushi.

[02:13:11] xEmperorEmber/rizon She gave up.

[02:13:40] xEmperorEmber/rizon IDK how to make sure you guys are here again.

[02:13:47] xEmperorEmber/rizon This chatroom is random AF for me.

[02:13:57] xEmperorEmber/rizon You guys are all here, always>

[02:14:17] xEmperorEmber/rizon ?

[02:14:39] xEmperorEmber/rizon Yeah, I work... not sleep so much.

[02:15:23] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm working on it, Kevin. Blood Pressure is 185/120.

[02:15:27] xEmperorEmber/rizon Consistently.

[02:15:41] xEmperorEmber/rizon That's stroke level.

[02:15:57] xEmperorEmber/rizon My pulse is 70.

[02:16:04] xEmperorEmber/rizon It is stroke level.

[02:16:17] xEmperorEmber/rizon Like.. My brain could have stroke any second.

[02:16:36] xEmperorEmber/rizon Never mind I can run 2 miles, and life 400 lbs.

[02:16:53] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm fit... yep... but my body is giving out. I've been pissing blood for 2 months.

[02:17:01] xEmperorEmber/rizon The stress is about to do me in.

[02:17:04] xEmperorEmber/rizon *lift

[02:17:13] xEmperorEmber/rizon It is... it is bad.

[02:17:18] xEmperorEmber/rizon I did see a doctor.

[02:17:36] xEmperorEmber/rizon I have kidney damage, likely from trying to OD on my ex-wife's cancer meds.

[02:22:29] xEmperorEmber/rizon CoolKevin, She has been in remission since end of April. I took meds mid May.

[02:22:53] xEmperorEmber/rizon We havent spoken since beginning of July. I started dating College Student beginning of July.

[02:23:39] xEmperorEmber/rizon Yeah, all true.

[02:24:04] xEmperorEmber/rizon Yep.

[02:24:12] xEmperorEmber/rizon Maybe "hates" is a bit much.

[02:24:19] xEmperorEmber/rizon Leukemia m5b.

[02:25:00] xEmperorEmber/rizon She beat it. I mean, if it came back, IDK. Haven't spoken. I haven't heard from my daughter in 7 days now.

[02:25:06] xEmperorEmber/rizon Last she said, Mom was good.

[02:25:15] xEmperorEmber/rizon But, maybe Mom doesn't say the truth.

[02:25:17] xEmperorEmber/rizon IDK.

[02:25:41] xEmperorEmber/rizon 7 days ago she told me we can't talk anymore.

[02:26:11] xEmperorEmber/rizon Because Mom would find out and take all her stuff away, which sucks, because she is trying to stay in contact with friends while out of state staying with family.

[02:26:25] xEmperorEmber/rizon Yes, daughter knows about GF.

[02:26:37] xEmperorEmber/rizon I cleared it before entering the relationship.

[02:27:08] xEmperorEmber/rizon She is 16 - had she said, nah... I would have not gone for it. As it is, I rejected sex for over a month with this woman.

[02:27:17] xEmperorEmber/rizon With family, Kevin.

[02:27:54] xEmperorEmber/rizon lol.. no Coderain.

[02:27:57] xEmperorEmber/rizon Nice try.

[02:28:26] xEmperorEmber/rizon IDK anything about her. I messaged her tonight, for the first time since beginning of July because I'm drunk AF.

[02:28:33] xEmperorEmber/rizon Hence chatting with you guys.

[02:28:59] xEmperorEmber/rizon I can't remember the names, coderain, but I remember what they weren't, and they were not that.

[02:29:19] xEmperorEmber/rizon The bleeding is from extreme kidney stones.

[02:29:39] xEmperorEmber/rizon I also lost 100 lbs in about 1 1/2 months.

[02:29:44] xEmperorEmber/rizon from the stress and depression.

[02:29:57] xEmperorEmber/rizon I was about 300. I am now 210.

[02:30:20] xEmperorEmber/rizon I am 5 9"

[02:30:42] xEmperorEmber/rizon Yeah, let's just say I'm not very fat.

[02:30:43] xEmperorEmber/rizon lol

[02:31:02] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm absurdly strong.

[02:31:28] xEmperorEmber/rizon I can pick this woman up with one arm and kinda do what I want.

[02:31:40] xEmperorEmber/rizon She is about 120-130?

[02:32:03] xEmperorEmber/rizon Yeah, I was a weight lifter... lol

[02:32:08] xEmperorEmber/rizon And scuba diver.

[02:32:12] xEmperorEmber/rizon If that counts for anything.

[02:32:47] xEmperorEmber/rizon Going to step out for a minute to hurt my lungs.

[02:32:52] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'll catch up when I get back.

[02:33:06] xEmperorEmber/rizon @sushi-chan is a fast typer.

[02:33:14] xEmperorEmber/rizon 70-90 wpms?

[02:33:39] xEmperorEmber/rizon That's disgusting sushi.

[02:33:48] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm immediately put off.

[02:33:53] xEmperorEmber/rizon You will not be my lamp shade.

[02:34:02] xEmperorEmber/rizon Sorry.

[02:34:35] xEmperorEmber/rizon be back in a few.

[02:34:48] xEmperorEmber/rizon Also, thanks guys, for the chat - it seriously does help sooth me, atm.

[02:34:56] xEmperorEmber/rizon soothe..

[02:35:07] xEmperorEmber/rizon be back in a bit.

[02:35:34] xEmperorEmber/rizon Real quick, before I go - if I come back here, you guys will be here - eventually?

[02:35:40] xEmperorEmber/rizon like.. this is a legit chat?

[02:36:01] xEmperorEmber/rizon Nice. Thanks coderain.

[02:36:21] xEmperorEmber/rizon I guess I'll be a regular. I talk a lot - feel free to tell me to stfu.

[02:37:51] xEmperorEmber/rizon Going to try calling her.

[02:38:02] xEmperorEmber/rizon If I don't show back up, it's because it was successful.

[02:45:06] xEmperorEmber/rizon Okay, on the phone with her. FML.

[02:45:33] xEmperorEmber/rizon My daughter is a lesbian... lol.

[02:45:45] xEmperorEmber/rizon I certify, being gay is a-o-k.

[02:46:19] xEmperorEmber/rizon @sushi-chan, your credentials are sus.

[02:46:26] xEmperorEmber/rizon To be discussed at a later date.

[02:47:05] xEmperorEmber/rizon An asian who loves other asians? Never met one.

[02:47:09] xEmperorEmber/rizon js

[02:47:33] xEmperorEmber/rizon OH.. well, then. That explains it.

[02:48:27] xEmperorEmber/rizon I'm not racist. Can't be. My 20 year old GF is black, so...

[02:48:31] xEmperorEmber/rizon jk jk jk

[02:48:37] xEmperorEmber/rizon I mean, she is, but yk what I mean.

[02:49:02] xEmperorEmber/rizon Just gonna say FML again and see myself out.

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