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Filtering by user: phonekait/rizon

Tuesday, March 14, 2023

[00:00:10] phonekait/rizon As a chick, I do not stick random things in mine.

[00:00:26] phonekait/rizon Never did.

[00:00:35] phonekait/rizon Nope.

[00:01:05] phonekait/rizon I was scared of the lid coming off in there tbh

[00:01:06] phonekait/rizon Lol

[00:01:38] phonekait/rizon It's also not hard to walk into Spencer's Gifts at 12 and buy a sex toy.

[00:02:29] phonekait/rizon He regularly puts sharpies up his vagina

[00:02:31] phonekait/rizon Duh

[00:03:24] phonekait/rizon Nah, I was scared of potentially damaging my vagina, so I never put anything up there besides sex toys, medications (monistat), or tampons.

[00:03:42] phonekait/rizon Zack: you've come at a good time

[00:03:51] phonekait/rizon I should introduce these guys to the list.

[00:03:56] phonekait/rizon ComputerTech: yes

[00:04:26] phonekait/rizon There's a liveshow Zack and I watch called What The Fuck Is Wrong With You

[00:04:46] phonekait/rizon And there's a general rule/category called "that doesn't go there"

[00:04:54] phonekait/rizon Also known as "it's not a pocket"

[00:05:14] phonekait/rizon No

[00:05:49] phonekait/rizon There is a yearly special the show runs called the Rectalspective

[00:05:53] phonekait/rizon https://defector.com/what-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-last-year-3

[00:05:58] phonekait/rizon Here's this year's list

[00:06:00] phonekait/rizon You're welcome

[00:07:19] phonekait/rizon Keep in mind, this list is from American emergency rooms

[00:07:39] phonekait/rizon Never mind the story from France who stuck a WW1 artillery shell up his ass

[00:07:54] phonekait/rizon A 60 something year old guy ^

[00:08:11] phonekait/rizon No, but they evacuated the damn hospital

[00:10:10] phonekait/rizon !bang

[00:10:13] phonekait/rizon !bang

[00:10:17] phonekait/rizon !reload

[00:10:35] phonekait/rizon .w

[15:02:48] phonekait/rizon Skanks

[16:04:30] phonekait/rizon He's Irish, isn't he?

[16:10:34] phonekait/rizon It's not raging if it's while you're working

[16:10:41] phonekait/rizon HEY

[16:10:47] phonekait/rizon She's my slut

[16:10:49] phonekait/rizon fuck off deadly

[16:11:05] phonekait/rizon Imma come up on you

[16:11:08] phonekait/rizon motherfucker

[16:11:56] phonekait/rizon Why are you quoting the US Dept of Health AS A EUROPEAN?

[16:12:26] phonekait/rizon ComputerTech: kick deadly pls

[16:14:25] phonekait/rizon I imported ur nan

[16:14:33] phonekait/rizon Isn't deadly in Manchester?

[16:14:42] phonekait/rizon There you go

[16:15:23] phonekait/rizon COUP D ETAT

[16:15:38] phonekait/rizon Peorth:

[16:16:25] phonekait/rizon NJ doesn't want your ass

[16:16:36] phonekait/rizon lmao

[16:16:47] phonekait/rizon So is a beehive

[16:17:18] phonekait/rizon He'd have to fly into Newark, so the weapons and the swearing would be appropriate

[16:17:34] phonekait/rizon Nah, Newark has knives AND guns

[16:17:47] phonekait/rizon Shut up h4 >:(

[16:18:56] phonekait/rizon sur: It's a joke

[16:18:57] phonekait/rizon :P

[16:19:26] phonekait/rizon Surprisingly, h4 and I mostly get along now

[16:19:32] phonekait/rizon Don't ask me how, I have no clue

[16:19:43] phonekait/rizon lol

[16:20:04] phonekait/rizon He met lola-chan in #chat and realized I'm not the dumbest American on IRC

[16:20:41] phonekait/rizon She lives in Murica

[16:20:43] phonekait/rizon Sadly

[16:20:55] phonekait/rizon YOU'RE FOOD

[16:21:15] phonekait/rizon lol

[16:21:17] phonekait/rizon no u!

[16:21:42] phonekait/rizon I'm not sure who's more stupid, her or senior

[16:22:37] phonekait/rizon foxy: lola and piba

[16:22:50] phonekait/rizon Don't say baa, you'll attract CT

[16:23:07] phonekait/rizon Tell her to suck my dick then

[16:23:16] phonekait/rizon Probably

[16:23:29] phonekait/rizon She and Lola claim I treat CT like shit

[16:23:30] phonekait/rizon lol

[16:23:45] phonekait/rizon As a joke.

[16:24:04] phonekait/rizon rofl

[16:28:19] phonekait/rizon $10 ComputerTech posted all 3 of those

[16:29:25] phonekait/rizon crovax: hope you use condoms

[18:18:44] phonekait/rizon Ew

[18:18:48] phonekait/rizon Please shower

[18:18:53] phonekait/rizon No one likes dirty balls

[18:21:26] phonekait/rizon Everybody except ComputerTech

[18:21:57] phonekait/rizon ComputerTech: no, she can be your friend

[18:22:12] phonekait/rizon ComputerTech:

[18:22:36] phonekait/rizon I am dealing with coworker incompetence, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, and I just started the third row of my birth control pill pack

[18:22:46] phonekait/rizon Do I make myself clear or do I need to come slap you into next week?

[18:22:57] phonekait/rizon foxy:

[18:23:14] phonekait/rizon foxy: your services are needed

[18:23:59] phonekait/rizon VANILLA SEX IS BORING, OK

[18:25:00] phonekait/rizon But that's the fun part

[18:25:06] phonekait/rizon Not to mention what you can do with the lasso

[18:25:33] phonekait/rizon SHUT UP SHEEPFUCKER YOU'RE STILL A VIRGIN

[18:26:45] phonekait/rizon BITCH YOU STEPPED OUT ON YOUR GF AND GOT YOUR SIDEPIECE PREGGO

[18:26:54] phonekait/rizon And now you say you can't be associated with hoe shit?

[18:26:57] phonekait/rizon jfc

[18:27:16] phonekait/rizon YOU ADMITTED IT

[18:27:41] phonekait/rizon Being in need of some D doesn't mean she's a friend in need

[18:27:48] phonekait/rizon Also wear condoms

[18:27:49] phonekait/rizon jfc

[18:28:04] phonekait/rizon Latex, sheepskin, polyurethane

[18:28:07] phonekait/rizon PICK ONE

[18:28:27] phonekait/rizon Just don't tell ComputerTech

[18:28:38] phonekait/rizon Also theyr're less effective

[18:28:50] phonekait/rizon no, he'd get mad over sheepskin

[18:29:03] phonekait/rizon Cause it's a skinned sheep he can't fuck

[18:29:25] phonekait/rizon You just wanna swing at balls with a giant stick

[18:29:26] phonekait/rizon stfu

[18:32:06] phonekait/rizon Audi: he said pi, not creampie

[18:32:07] phonekait/rizon stfu

[18:32:08] phonekait/rizon srs

[18:32:36] phonekait/rizon .................

[18:32:42] phonekait/rizon EVERYONE WHO'S HAD PROPER SEX EDUCATION

[18:32:50] phonekait/rizon Also

[18:33:04] phonekait/rizon you know what doctors call people who practice the fertility awareness method?

[18:33:07] phonekait/rizon PARENTS.

[18:34:03] phonekait/rizon !bang

[18:34:23] phonekait/rizon ComputerTech: SMD

[18:34:55] phonekait/rizon Audi: You should really practice two methods of birth control.

[18:35:00] phonekait/rizon PULL OUT DOESN'T COUNT

[18:35:15] phonekait/rizon NO SHIT

[18:35:18] phonekait/rizon ^

[18:35:45] phonekait/rizon h4: he has a kid

[18:35:46] phonekait/rizon lol

[18:36:18] phonekait/rizon HUMAN KIDS ARE DEMON SPAWN

[18:36:47] phonekait/rizon no u!

[18:36:59] phonekait/rizon sur: get your German ass in here

[18:37:03] phonekait/rizon no u!

[18:37:19] phonekait/rizon Everything CAN go in the oven

[18:37:25] phonekait/rizon Whether it should is a different story.

[18:38:14] phonekait/rizon My 6.5 year old nephew got pissed at me when he was 18 months because I wouldn't let him slide down the banister, so he threw my cell phone down the flight of stairs

[18:38:37] phonekait/rizon Audi: I gave him a time out and a talking to.

[18:39:02] phonekait/rizon sur: tell h4 and Audi that human children are demon spawn

[18:39:24] phonekait/rizon Please don't fuck kids

[18:39:36] phonekait/rizon We're not Catholic priests or members of the US Republican party.

[18:40:03] phonekait/rizon No, Republicans.

[18:40:15] phonekait/rizon Matt Gaetz anyone?

[18:40:38] phonekait/rizon I'll agree both parties are fucked up

[18:40:43] phonekait/rizon But the GOP sucks more.

[18:40:58] phonekait/rizon WV LITERALLY shot down a bill outlawing child marriage.

[18:41:23] phonekait/rizon No

[18:41:27] phonekait/rizon Cause balls still function

[18:41:32] phonekait/rizon Cut off the balls.

[18:42:04] phonekait/rizon ^

[18:42:15] phonekait/rizon It's true!

[18:42:27] phonekait/rizon Cats like to run trains on mamas

[18:42:48] phonekait/rizon Have you seen a litter of kittens with multiple different patterns?

[18:42:56] phonekait/rizon THEY ARE

[18:43:47] phonekait/rizon https://cat-world.com/can-a-litter-of-kittens-have-multiple-fathers/

[18:43:54] phonekait/rizon Audi: male cats have spiny dicks

[18:44:00] phonekait/rizon Would you want that in you?

[18:44:05] phonekait/rizon I REST MY CASE

[18:44:23] phonekait/rizon All my kitties are neutered :)

[18:44:38] phonekait/rizon Can I neuter ComputerTech next time I go back to the vet?

[18:49:41] phonekait/rizon mmmmm biting during sex

[19:44:44] phonekait/rizon Today's Kait quote: "fucking fuck with a fucking cherry on top of the fuck sundae"

[19:53:17] phonekait/rizon ComputerTech can suck my schlong

[20:38:01] phonekait/rizon But my insults aren't general. They're targeted at the appropriate person.

[20:38:16] phonekait/rizon You wish

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